For the last 12 years we have been posting about our testimony/ marriage ministry and the effects of pornography. We have taken some pretty intense heat over the years for doing so. I have saw a lot of people posting about kids being sold on wayfair/ sex trafficking. I’m here to make a connection for you and why we have chosen for over a decade to SPEAK UP.
Before sex trafficking- porn
Before sexual abuse- porn
Before child abduction- porn
Before affairs- porn
Before drug addiction- porn
Before mass murder- porn
Do I need to go on?
My dad gave me an international toy tractor growing up. I still have it somewhere packed in the storage unit. I also had an orange mustang toy car.
I still love both the old mustangs 1969 and I love tractors.
Since I was little I have dreamed of one of my own.
We had been on the road for two straight years when we decided to live in Bend Oregon. We knew the father had opened up doors for us there and we planned on it being permanent if He called us to do ministry there and open our marriage restoration retreat.￼
But after being there for eight months, there was a stirring in my heart.￼
We were sick and laying in bed, and I started to tell Adam what was overwhelming my mind and heart.￼
I knew the season was over for us in Bend, even though we had made amazing friendships and learned a lot about kingdom work and what a church body looks like when it’s healthy￼.
As I lay next to Adam and shared my heart, I just couldn’t get the words out which happens often. He knows now how to ask the right questions. He said “why don’t you tell me in a word picture of what you see?”
I replied-“ we can’t stay here, there’s not enough tractors blocking the road.”
“Huh?” He asked.
“Ya, we need to go where the tractors are”
And just like that we took a leap of faith in July and took those two 16 hour round trips with our trailer filled and moved all of our stuff to a storage unit in Idaho.￼
￼￼Or first winter here when it snowed, when we got snowed in I prayed that the sun would shine and melt some of the snow.
Or that the snowblower would start working at the rental, or a tractor would come plow us out.￼
Adam and Lincoln were at the end of the driveway shoveling out the car for a couple hours while I made stew, hot cocoa and butter biscuits.
All of a sudden I heard a noise, there was an orange tractor plowing us out.
I just started beaming ear to ear.
It’s the little things.
We all need a battle buddy, Someone who will get into the fray and help you put on your armor.
When I was deep into the hell of pornography, a man came alongside of me and helped me see clearly. Without him I was being beaten down and just swinging my weapon wildly in all directions. He showed me where to stand and what the enemy was doing. He shined a light on the darkness so I could see.
1.Download the “Armed and Dangerous” men’s study.
2. I will be your accountability partner.
3. I’ll encourage you each day as you walk through the course.
I’m here to be that man for you as the world tries to consume you. I’m not your savior, but I would gladly step into battle with you and cover your “six”. Your not alone and you shouldn’t be alone. I’m here and ready to help you “pick a fight” with the deception you’ve been living.
For all those wondering- here is an update-
We are still in the bus but a couple let us park on their land by their barn which has been an enormous gift!
Secondly we need each other, I needed that friend who hugged me as I cried. Ya know what- I have cried a lot in the last 6 months- I used to hold that pain/ sorrow in but it’s not healthy.
Many people have said they couldn’t have made it through what we have in the past 7 years. You know how you get through back to back loss, trauma, pain and hardships? Processing and healing with others with similar loss.
I know for some of your it’s easier to keep it all inside, but it’s stored there in your brain and it will keep circling back around until you’re able to share and start healing. Glossing over the darkness for the sake of a redemptive story only perpetuates trauma.
I’ll be the open book.
God remembers the evil that caused our traumas. He saw the deeds of darkness. Some of us experience very little while others get a double dose.
One day, he will bring all of it into the light with crystal clarity and perfect justice.
If you’re wondering how to support someone like myself who has experienced loss and trauma or someone else in your life, here’s a bit of advice I will offer.￼
It’s of incredible value to offer a safe presence; free from judgment, shame and pat answers.
I often find it difficult to talk to people who haven’t experienced the trauma of financial loss as we have in the last seven years, I just shut down when they try to say “yeah I had to dip into my savings account and it was difficult, or one time we had to make a move and we didn’t get $80,000 for our house rather we got $40,000
Y’all- that makes it worse. Just be their friend, just be available, tell them you don’t understand why they’ve had to endure so much, but you can see that they are strong. ￼￼
Help- see a need and fill it.
Pray with them.
Cry with them.
Love them.- see a need and fill it.
Pray with them.
Cry with them.